you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize