He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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