nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
