People in love make me want to vomit
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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