All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
