I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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