super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
