I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize