so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
