Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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