Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
