I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
