...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
