so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
