We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
