she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
