New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
