pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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