He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize