dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
