It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
