Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
