The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
