I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
