sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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