you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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