all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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