there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The feeling are messing with the penis
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
