You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
