The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
