I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
