She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
