I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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