The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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