Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
