Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
