It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
