Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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