went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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