i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize