TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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