afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
