i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
