Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
