overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
