sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
a search helicopter?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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