1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
