I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
