it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
