he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize