5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
