no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
