His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
why is half of my head shaved?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize