im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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