i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
