Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
