What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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