Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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