My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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