I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
