Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
