who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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