I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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