im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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