Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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