you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
